Random Musings

Big Changes Can Be Hard

This is more of a personal post.

I’ve had a lot going on lately. Sometimes life throws  the whole book at you. My absence has not been due to negligence. I find blogging very relaxing. It allows me to connect with others with shared interests. I just haven’t had the time to sit down and do a lot of anything lately that I love doing. My husband and I have been doing a top to bottom remodel of a house we bought with the intention of flipping. Ideally we want to knock this out in a few months because we are planning to make a big relocation to Portland.

Why Portland?

There are a number of reasons. My husband is from Oregon. I’ve been out there a few times and I love it. We have been thinking about moving to that area of the country for while now. I’ve lived in Dallas my whole life. Dallas is so metro centric and hot. Its a concrete jungle. Everything is man made, including most of the parks. I crave the ability to get to go out into the wild and meditate and connect with the gods. I’ve been at my job for about 5 years and I’ve gone as far as I can go in my position and there is no room for growth in my department. We have also gone through several staff changes that have been less than ideal. I make pretty good money but I need more than that. I’ve grown tired of the corporate grind. Working in commercial real state is a hard business and working in the legal portion of it is exhausting. I want more time to devout to my spirituality and ritual. I’ve gotten restless. I have the deep desire to start fresh. I don’t really have any family and my mother passed away two years ago in October so I don’t have any anchors here. If you were given the opportunity to start fresh somewhere, to completely pay off all of your debts and start new would you take it? Who wouldn’t? I’m ready for the next chapter in life. New places, new experiences, new people.

With all of the hustle and bustle my practice in itself has been uprooted. Most of my altar items and books at this point are in boxes. I closed my Etsy shop temporarily until I get settled. I even have much of my tarot collection in boxes. I’ve kept out those decks and books that I go for on a daily basis. In my BOTA lessons I’m focusing on the Wheel of Fortune. There is an ebb and flow. I’ve just got to go with the flow. My intentions are set and are being executed. I do a visualization meditation on my goals and am using Tarot as my guide to listening to my inner voice.

So if you see me posting less in the next coming months that is why! I’m going through some major life changes. I hope for the better. Its all very exciting and nerve racking. I have my fears. What if this is a bad idea? What if this doesn’t work? I’m keeping going like the fool filled with dreams and fancies. Isn’t that what makes life exciting though? The unknown. At the end of the day we live in a world of unknowns just creating constructs to make us feel that we have a grasp on reality.

Here I go plunging  into the wild unknown (tarot reference there!) . I hope you all stay with me on my journey.

 

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